A Week Of Waiting And Wondering Why?

It's one week today since the world stood still, mouths open, in horror at seeing the impact of two bombs, senselessly being detonated in the middle of one of the best events Boston has to offer and on one of the most relaxing days Boston celebrates throughout the entire year.  The Boston Marathon.
I am from Massachusetts.  I grew up about an hour or so West of Boston, Mom went to Boston College,  a typical family of fans of all the sports teams, some a stronger allegiance to than others, but they are all in there.  I could even be so bold and say they sing about me at every Red Sox game, ( but I'm just one 'Sweet Caroline').  It's a great, old, pedestrian city with grit and good ole American swagger.  I know it was rocked to the core one week ago today, but I know in my heart, that it will heal and be back stronger than ever, because that's what happens when things get broken.  When they heal, the specific location that broke, becomes stronger than it was before!

Last week was exhausting in many ways, so many bad things happened.  Explosions in Texas, toxic chemicals being sent to the President and other political figures.  Why??  It's a question I wonder and wonder about til I can't sleep.  But I realize, even if I hear why, it will never make sense to me.  And I am grateful for that.  I don't ever want to think that it's OK to kill or harm another human being or creature, for that matter, just because he believes in something different from me.  It is the complete opposite, in my opinion, of what the true, original America was created for.  People left one country on ships, risking their lives, to leave a place where they were forced to believe something or be killed otherwise.  They left to create a new country, one where they were free to believe in what they deemed important, and as long as they weren't killing others, they could believe it.  Now we have people believing that it's right to kill others who don't share their same beliefs.  It's the complete opposite of what the United States of America stands for and why people love to live here. 

Our intolerance of one another is literally killing us.  People died.  A child died cheering on his Dad.  I can't wrap my head around the kind of pain that family is going through and the families of those who were permanently maimed just watching the elated runners go by, cheering them on saying 'Way To Go', Good Job, Keep Going, Don't Stop, You're Almost There', I can hear them now, just like they were screaming to me at my marathons.  Now some of them will have to learn to walk with new legs or get dressed with one arm.   Three other innocent people died along with the little boy that day.  All because someone hates the idea so much that Americans don't believe in what these radical extremist, murderers believe in.  It's insane and a waste of the human brain!

It's taken me a week to write about all of this because I was honestly so angry I couldn't focus my thoughts on writing anything that made sense.  It would have all just been one big rant, which, who knows, maybe it would have helped me sleep.  But how do you make sense of the completely senseless act that happened that day?  It's not rationally possible!  But I don't want to let that be what I take away from this. I need to allow myself to move forward with positive thoughts of the future, not anger or hatred, because that is letting them win in some way. 

I started last Monday morning with a post on my Triathleta.com Facebook page, wishing all a great day of racing, having fun, enjoy the day you've worked so hard to get to, take it all in and Congrats!  Only hours later did I see other posts commenting on what was happening and then I turned on the TV to see what happened.  It didn't register at first.  How could this be?  How could someone do such a horrific, senseless act? 

I will never forget and will keep praying for all those affected by this.  I have to believe that the power of the human spirit is stronger than the hate those two people had for us.  The spirit that got you up at 5 AM to do a long run and still have time to make your kids soccer game or dance recital.  You wanted to do something you've wanted to do all your life!  You wanted to do something you never thought you would ever do, but you did it!  Either scenario, you worked to get there and it was a labor of love.  That is what I will remember!  The love of sport, the heart and soul that makes you want to be better tomorrow than you were today.  The part of your soul that you hear when you want to quit running because your legs feel like bricks, Never Ever Give Up!  You repeat to yourself, (like I do) when you're tired, 'A Body In Motion, Stays In Motion) over and over again.  Somehow I think it works.  You do what you trained months for, run and cross that finish line. 

Some didn't get that far last Monday, but there will be other races.  Races with a new feeling when you start.  You'll keep those in Boston in your heart wherever you are running.  A marathon may never be the same, especially in Boston, but the joy and jubilation you should feel at the end of a marathon will be yours eventually, you just have to believe that.  I know, even today, when I was running I was thinking about those who lost their legs.  I'm tired, but they'll never run the way I'm running, so don't complain that it's cold and snowing in April.  Suck it up, do it for Boston!  You are stronger than you think and you'll celebrate like they do at Red Sox games or Bruins games or the Patriots games and things will feel good again.  We can't let the negative, intolerant behavior of a few determine the remainder of our days.  We are better than that, as a human race, not even just a country or a city.  Keep moving...Forward!  Always!

From one Caroline to Boston, you're in my thoughts and prayers.  You'll be back to run again, just believe it!

Love and Prayers to all of you! 

p.s.
if you click on any picture, it will take you to 'The One Fund' organized by the Mayor of Boston and you can donate to all the victims.

Caroline / Triathleta